


Fluffy Blue

by blue_rose_123197



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:22:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22540126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_rose_123197/pseuds/blue_rose_123197
Summary: So uh I kinda just wrote this? And it turned out the way it did? Like, I had an original idea, and I was trying to stick to it, and then I got to the part with the backstory and I kinda just yeeted said original plan out the window and made this instead. Then I kind of had to fix the ending, so it ended up a little messy. I have also barely done any proofreading. Oh well, I'll do that when it's not 1 am. Also, no summary, because I genuinely have absolutely no idea how to describe this word vomit.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Kudos: 32





	Fluffy Blue

**Author's Note:**

> So uh I kinda just wrote this? And it turned out the way it did? Like, I had an original idea, and I was trying to stick to it, and then I got to the part with the backstory and I kinda just yeeted said original plan out the window and made this instead. Then I kind of had to fix the ending, so it ended up a little messy. I have also barely done any proofreading. Oh well, I'll do that when it's not 1 am. Also, no summary, because I genuinely have absolutely no idea how to describe this word vomit.

**Unknown number:**

Hello, Chan. This is Jisung. Changbin Hyung gave me your number. He said you were interested in hearing my music?

**Chan:**

Sorry to disappoint you little friend but I am actually Minho. I see Changbin has gotten our numbers mixed up again, how disappointing. Though, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore. Anyways, it seems you’re looking for Chan Hyung. Well, his number is almost the same as mine, just switch the last two digits.

**Unknown number:**

Oh, I’m so sorry.

**Minho:**

Ah, it’s no problem. I blame Changbin. But I am curious, you said Chan Hyung was interested in your music. You wouldn’t happen to be that kid that Changbin’s been ranting about to Chan Hyung for like two weeks now, would you?

**Unknown number:**

Ah, I guess that is me. I’m Jisung.

**Minho:**

Lovely to meet you, I’m Minho. How did you happen to meet Changbin?

**Jisung:**

Basically, I competed against him at a music festival a couple weeks ago, and I ran into him later and he told me that I was really good and we just kind of generally chatted after that.

**Minho:**

Seoul Music Festival?

**Jisung:**

Yeah.

**Minho:**

Ah, I was there. I didn’t see the competition though, I could only make it for the last day. Changbin was a little disappointed but I told him there was no way I could move my flight.

**Jisung:**

Were you on vacation?

**Minho:**

Actually, I was just moving here from Australia.

**Jisung:**

Oh, that’s cool. How did you know Changbin Hyung then?

**Minho:**

Long story short, he and Chan Hyung are cousins and I met him when he visited, way back before Chan Hyung moved here to Seoul.

**Jisung:**

Hyung didn’t mention they were cousins.

**Minho:**

Well, I imagine he doesn’t much like talking about us. We are, after all, his very annoying friends.

**Minho:**

Ah, I have to go. Good luck talking to Chan Hyung, though, if Changbin thinks you’re good, I imagine you won’t need it.

**Jisung:**

Oh, bye.

_ Sent _

  
  
  
  
  


(Minho’s POV)

“Hyung, where’s the remote?” I roll my eyes at the shout that comes from downstairs. “Up your flat ass Changbin,” I shout back. There are several moments of silence before my door opens and Changbin walks in and glares at me, “Seriously Hyung, it’s not on the couch, and Chan Hyung never touches the TV.” “Well, I don’t know how you expect me to know. As you can see, I would much rather sit in this room all day scrolling through memes than sit downstairs and risk having to see your triangular face.”

“Hyung, you really need to leave this house. School doesn’t count!” he adds, seeing me open my mouth. I sigh, “Don’t worry, I’ll get a job soon, and then you don’t have to worry about seeing me.” He rolls his eyes, “That’s not what I meant. Socialize, Hyung. You know a total of three people here.” “I really don’t see how that’s a problem.” Changbin turns around, prepared to give up and leave me to wallow in my own introversion, but I stop him, “By the way, you really need to stop getting my number mixed up with Chan Hyung’s.”

Changbin turns back, confused, “What do you mean Hyung?” I shake my head, “I just got a text from a confused child to whom you gave my number instead of Chan Hyung’s.” “Oh,” he says, “well, did you give him the right number?” I wave a hand, “Of course I did, I’m not a bitch Changbin. We also chatted a little. It seems you’ve found another little musical friend. Good for you. Although I must say, he doesn't talk much, for a musical child.” Changbin rolls his eyes at me, “Hyung, you probably just scared him with your aggravatingly  _ excessive _ talking. How can you be so antisocial when you talk  _ so much _ ?”

I shrug in response. Before he can say anything else, we hear the front door open, and a moment later, Chan’s voice, “Guys, get down here before we eat all the pizza without you.” We both go down the stairs, finding the eldest in the kitchen getting plates. Jeongin is sitting at the table already. He waves at us cheerfully the moment he sees us. We sit down with them. “Hey Changbin,” Chan says as we eat, “did you ever tell that kid to text me?” Changbin opens his mouth to answer, but I interrupt, “He gave your musical child my number instead of yours.”

Chan rolls his eyes, “Good job Changbin.” Jeongin looks between us, “Musical child?” Chan nods, “Changbin met this kid at the music festival and he’s been begging me to meet the kid, but apparently he can’t even give him the right phone number.” Changbin lets out a frustrated sigh, “Look, it’s not my fault your numbers are almost exactly the same!” I shrug, “Yeah, but you’re the only one that can’t get them right.” Chan stops us from having another argument, “Look, it doesn’t matter. Minho, were you kind to him?”

I throw my hands up, “Why does everyone think that I would like, try to scare him away or something? I’m a nice, normal, perfectly functional human being!” “Minho, as your best friend of 8 years, you are a lot of things, but normal and perfectly functional are certainly not any of them.” I glare at Chan. “I mean,” Jeongin says, “you do have a pretty...interesting way of speaking Hyung. It scared me a little at first.” I stare at him. Changbin adds, “Yeah, like what’s up with your vocabulary? And general sentence structure? And unusual excess of words?” I shake my head, “And you all wonder why I don’t socialize.”

* * *

I stare at my cereal, squinting a little, forgetting momentarily what I’m supposed to do with it. Chan waves a hand in front of my face, “You good, Minho?” I nod without looking up, “Just making sure that my floating rainbow circles don’t become sentient and climb up my tiny bowl on a stick to carve out my eyes and nest in the sockets.” Chan pauses his own spoon, “It’s times like these when I remember why Jeongin is afraid to move in with us.” Changbin shakes his head, “Hyung, it’s cereal. You eat it, damn it.” I blink at my spoon, “Oh yeah.” I finally take a bite, “Tastes gay.” Changbin shakes his head, “That’s just you.”

I squint at my bowl again, “Huh.” Chan sighs, setting down his spoon in his finished bowl, “Minho, have you been sleeping?” I frown, “Of course, why?” Chan raises an eyebrow, “Because you’ve yet again forgotten the function of cereal. I generally wonder how you even survived in Sydney without me. You can’t even remember how to eat some days, how did you not starve to death?” “Probably because I had someone that took much better care of me,” I mumble, but Chan doesn’t catch it, and he continues, “Be honest, you’ve barely slept since you moved here. And don’t deny it, I’ve noticed.” I glance up at him, a little surprised, “Your point?”

Chan rubs his forehead, “My point is, I really think your insomnia has been getting worse since you moved here, and if you don’t like, see a doctor soon, you’re going to end up forgetting how to breathe or something like that. I mean, for God’s sake, you forgot how to eat cereal!” I shrug, “I fail to see how my lack of breathing demands any general concern considering my existence is rather unimportant in the overall scheme of everyone else’s lives.  _ My _ point is, if my mind has already deteriorated this much, I don’t believe it warrants much concern from really anyone if I only descend further into madness until I can no longer tell the difference between a rock and someone’s face.”

They both stare at me, until Changbin says quietly, “That’s another thing Hyung. At least when I first met you you didn’t talk so...weirdly.” I sigh, “Fine I’ll see a doctor. But I doubt they’ll be able to fix me this time if they couldn’t before.” Chan shakes his head, “I’ll take you after school. I hope you know we really are worried about you though, Minho.” I nod a little, my response barely audible, “I know.”

* * *

We arrive at school. While I much prefer this school to the shitty high school I went to in Sydney, I can’t exactly say it deserves much praise either. One of the only things that I genuinely like about it is that it’s wonderful for people watching. Whenever we arrive at school early, I separate from my friends and find myself a seat at a bench with a nice view of all the people. I always enjoy just watching people as they wander up to the school entrance. I often see couples, friends, siblings, or just people that share a few classes. I don’t usually have long though, since I have to go to classes myself. This morning happens to be a morning where I have a bit more time. I sit quietly with my earbuds in, watching as people flood by. My chosen judgement for today changes from my usual of fashion to hair.

I’m watching general seas of brown, black, and blonde, the occasional red or pink slipping in, and I manage to lose track of time, because the next time I check my phone, I realize I only have five minutes left. I begin to think maybe Chan is right about my recent lack of sleep as I rush up the front steps, barely avoiding colliding with another kid as I reach for the door handle. The moment I look at him, of course my eyes go to my chosen judgement, and I wonder a little at his curious blue hair. I realize he’s trying to speak to me when he waves a hand in front of my face.

I remove one earbud, “What?” He sighs, “I said, why are you staring at my hair?” I blink, “It’s blue.” “So? Can’t a man dye his hair blue without getting a thousand unsubtle stares?” I finally glance down at his face and can’t help the words that leave my mouth, “You look like a squirrel.” He gives me an unimpressed look and finally rushes into the school. It only occurs to me several minutes later as I barely make the bell for my first class that my comment may have been a bit straightforward. I really start to reconsider Chan’s words.

* * *

As we sit in the waiting room, I open up my phone, only to discover that it’s still on my conversation with someone. I squint a little at the contact name,  _ Jisung _ . Who’s that? Ah, that’s right, Chan and Changbin’s musical child. I frown a little as I scroll through our conversation, trying to remember sending any of the messages. While I recall that I spoke to him, none of my words are ringing a bell. Chan glances over my shoulder at my phone, “Is that the kid Changbin was talking about? Did you actually talk to him?”

“Apparently,” I mumble, though nothing about the conversation seems familiar, “he accidentally texted me because Changbin gave him my number instead of yours, I guess.” Chan gives me a look, “I know, you said that last night.” I glance up at him, “I did? When?” “At dinner,” Chan replies slowly. I feel myself trying to remember, “We had dinner last night? What did we have? I thought you were on a date last night? Wasn’t Changbin in the studio?” Chan lets out a frustrated sigh, “No, that was Wednesday night. Minho, you’re starting to forget again. You really need to get some sleep.”

“Oh,” I say, not really sure how to respond, “But it’s just a few things. And it’s hard to keep track of some nights, they all blend together. When was the last time I forgot something otherwise?” Chan raises an eyebrow, “This morning you forgot how to eat cereal. At lunch, you forgot that buying food required money. In history class, you forgot the teacher’s name. In math class, you forgot your  _ own _ name.” I rack my brain, trying to recall these incidents, but the only thing that comes to my head is another question, “We have math together?”

Chan is saved from his frustration when the doctor calls my name. He comes with me, which I assume is because apparently me forgetting how to walk is a completely plausible outcome at this point. After spending about an hour there, we finally leave with the knowledge that apparently, the return of my severe sleep deprivation has also warranted the return of my memory loss. We collect my prescribed medicine from the pharmacy and return home. Changbin is watching TV when we walk in, and he looks up at us, “Well?” I stare at the couch, wondering how long it had been that color. Chan answers, “Basically, if Minho can’t sleep soon, we’re going to have to reteach him his entire childhood.”

Changbin gives him a look and Chan sighs, “Long story short, a couple years ago, Minho’s insomnia got so bad that he started experiencing severe memory loss, and now that’s starting to happen again.” “Yikes. You good Minho?” I blink, “When did we get a new TV? I thought we had that little one. Did you guys get a new TV without telling me?” “And there’s my answer.”

* * *

Several weeks have passed. While I’m starting to get more sleep, Chan and Changbin say that I’m still forgetting a lot of things. Chan reassures us that it took awhile for me to stop forgetting things last time, and he says that my other memories will also return, but I’m beginning to wonder if he’s sure, because things are still fuzzy, and I can’t seem to recall what Chan and Changbin are talking about when they keep saying that I spoke to some musical child of theirs. It isn’t until lunch today when that really becomes apparent.

Changbin rushes over to the table where Chan, Jeongin, and I sit, dragging along a small, blue-haired kid behind him. “Hey guys,” he says, a little out of breath, “This is Jisung. I’ve been telling you about him, remember?” The question is directed at me, but I can’t seem to recognize the name or face. Chan smiles at him, “I’m Chan. It’s good to finally put a face to this wonderful rapper that Changbin’s been telling us about.” “Yeah,” Jeongin grins, “It’s great to meet you! I’m Jeongin.” The blue-haired boy smiles back shyly and waves a little. The others turn to me, waiting for me to say something. What are they waiting for me to say? Changbin sighs, “This is Minho.” Oh right. Introductions. I blink at the kid again, “Hi?” I narrow my eyes, struggling, “Who are you? Have I met you?”

“Um,” he says, scratching his head, “I’m Jisung. Remember? Changbin Hyung accidentally gave me your number instead of Chan Hyung’s? And then you talked to me for a little while?” “Huh,” I say, “How unnatural of me.” “Yeah, uh, we also almost ran into each other at the door at one point and you told me I looked like a squirrel.” “Did I? When? You do look like a squirrel though. Are you sure you aren’t thinking of someone else? What was your name again?” He blinks at me, looking rather distressed, glancing at Chan for help. Rude, I just want to know his name.

Chan shakes his head at me, and Jeongin and Changbin look a little worried. I look at them, “What?” I glance back up and frown at the blue-haired boy, “How long have you been standing there?” Chan sighs, “Don’t mind Minho, it appears his memory loss still isn’t improving.” “Oh,” the boy says. He and Changbin both take seats. “So, Jisung.” Jisung, that’s right, that’s his name. “Changbin tells us that you also make your own music.” “Oh, yeah. A little bit.” Chan grins, “Well, I would love to hear some of it if we’re going to be working together.” “Oh, he’s your musical child,” I say, almost like an afterthought, but easily warranting four strange looks, “What?” Changbin rolls his eyes, “Yes Hyung, he’s our musical child.”

* * *

Chan is right. Over time, the more I’m able to sleep, the less I’m forgetting things. At the same time, I’m starting to regain the memories I lost. It’s only one afternoon about two months after I moved to Korea that I’m scrolling through random messages, and I come across my conversation with Jisung. Like a flood, all my memories of him come back; our conversation over text, the day when Changbin introduced him to us, and now that I remember his face, I also recall my encounter with whom I now know was Jisung at the entrance to the school. I flinch a little, feeling pretty bad that I had completely forgotten him. I decide to text him to apologize.

  
  
  
  
  


**Minho:**

Hey Jisung.

**Jisung:**

Oh. You remember who I am?

**Minho:**

Yeah, I’m really sorry about that. I feel pretty bad.

**Jisung:**

Chan Hyung said you had some kind of memory loss.

**Minho:**

Yeah, basically I have insomnia, and if go too long without much sleep, then I start forgetting things, like how to eat cereal. That one happened multiple times.

**Jisung:**

Oh, that’s bad. Does it happen often?

**Minho:**

Eh, not really. It hasn’t happened in like, 5 years. I  _ was _ sleeping better for a while.

**Jisung:**

What happened that changed that?

**Minho:**

Chan Hyung says it’s probably because it took me time to get used to living here.

**Jisung:**

You don’t agree?

**Minho:**

Eh.

**Minho:**

Anyways, now that I actually remember who you are, how have you been? Are you still working with Changbin and Chan Hyung.

**Jisung:**

Yeah, they showed me their studio. It’s really cool. We’ve kind of been working a little, but at the moment we’ve mostly been showing each other our own stuff.

**Minho:**

Ah, the studio. I love it in there. Always so quiet, no wonder they love working there. I think the only time it wasn’t that pleasant was the time I accidentally burnt pancakes in the kitchen and the whole place smelled awful.

**Jisung:**

How bad was it?

**Minho:**

I haven’t been allowed near a frying pan since.

**Jisung:**

Yikes.

* * *

It isn’t until I glance at the clock that I realize how late it is. 12:38 am. I sigh. Chan will kill me. I finally manage to pull myself away from my desk and close my laptop, deciding that my history essay can wait until tomorrow. I quietly wander down the stairs for a glass of water, and return to my room, preparing to go to bed, but as I’m plugging my charger into my phone, the screen lights up, and I see a message.

  
  
  


**Jisung:**

Are you still awake?

**Minho:**

You’ve met me. What do you think?

  
  
  
  


I smile a little. Over the past few months since my memory has returned, Jisung and I have become good friends.

**Jisung:**

That’s a yes then.

**Minho:**

Why are you awake?

**Jisung:**

Because you didn’t text me good night yet. :( I thought you forgot and fell asleep.

**Minho:**

I’m sorry. I just lost track of time working on some history paper. You should’ve gone to sleep anyway. You’re going to be tired in the morning. :/

**Jisung:**

Oh well, I can’t sleep without it.

**Minho:**

Well, now you should go to bed.

**Jisung:**

You still haven’t said it though. :(

**Minho:**

Good night, you fluffy blue baby. Go to sleep before you sleep through noon.

**Jisung:**

Good night!

  
  


I smile, shaking my head a little as I turn off my phone and lie down, surprisingly falling to sleep almost immediately. That night, just like many others, I fall asleep with a smile on my face.

* * *

The next morning, I’m awoken by Chan, who gently shakes my shoulder. I groan and roll over, trying to fall back asleep, but a moment later a pillow comes hurtling and wacks me in the head. I glare up at Changbin, who only shrugs, while Chan rolls his eyes, “Come on Minho, get dressed.” I narrow my eyes at him, “What time is it? I thought you had to pick up someone from the airport? Why do I have to go with you?” Chan smiles a little, “You’ll see. Just get dressed.”

I sigh and get up, beginning to get dressed after they leave my room. I wander downstairs to find them both sitting on the couch, waiting for me. I raise an eyebrow, “Explain why I’m being dragged to the airport with you at 6:30 am to pick up some random mystery person.” Neither of them answer, they only rise and head out the front door. I let a frustrated sigh and follow them. It takes about a half hour to get to the airport from our apartment. For most of the ride, I sit and stare out the window from the back seat. As we near our destination however, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I pull it out and smile a little at the message.

  
  


**Jisung:**

Good morning!

**Minho:**

Morning. What are you doing awake?

**Jisung:**

Going to school? Aren’t you?

  
  


I stare at the message, “Chan Hyung, why am I being dragged to the airport with you when we have school today?” From the rear view mirror, I see him roll his eyes, “You’ve just now realized that you were supposed to go to school today?”

  
  


**Minho:**

Apparently not. I’m being dragged to the airport. Still not sure why.

**Jisung:**

Oh, well, I’ll see you later then?

**Minho:**

Yeah, I guess so.

  
  


I sigh again as we pull into a parking spot in the garage and park, “Would either of you care to explain why I’m here?” “You’ll see. Come on,” Chan says again. I follow them, still unsure of what exactly is happening. We walk into the door near the baggage claim and wait near one of the small little airport gift shops. I squint a little, trying to read the list of flights for the baggage claim, when Chan suddenly brightens and waves at someone behind me. I turn around, hardly believing my eyes when I see the boy running towards us a short distance away.

“Chan Hyung!” Felix shouts, embracing the oldest, then quickly turning to Changbin and hugging him just as tightly. I only stand and watch, trying to figure out if my eyes are failing me. I only snap back into reality when the younger boy turns to me and somehow grins even wider. He throws his arms around me, and it takes me a moment to return the hug just as tightly. “I missed you Hyung,” he whispers. I smile a little, “I missed you too Lix.” He finally lets go of me and I look him up and down, noting that his hair is blonde again, a great difference from the bright reddish-pink he had last time I saw him.

It finally occurs to me that I haven’t seen him in almost a year, and like lightning, all the memories of the last time we saw each other, and, with tears of regret threatening to spill, I recall that neither of us was smiling. “What are you doing here?” I ask him, my voice betraying me as it breaks a little. He smiles sadly, clearly also remembering that night, “I really missed you. When I found out you moved here, I talked to Chan Hyung and he arranged for me to move here too.” I look up at Chan in surprise, “He’s going to be living with us?” The elder nods, and I smile, and wrap my arms around Felix again. He laughs, happily returning my hug.

* * *

“So,” Changbin says to Felix as we eat lunch, “what made you decide to pick up everything and move to Korea with barely enough time to switch schools and minimal Korean?” Felix flicks him in the head, “My Korean is better now Hyung! And besides, I missed you guys!” I feel a sting at his words, remembering our last encounter again. How did he miss me? Didn’t he move on when he went to America? Chan and Changbin smile and tell him they missed him too. I follow, trying to sound as genuine as I feel. I did miss him. So much.

* * *

Felix bounces down the stairs the next morning like it’s not 7 in the morning. “Good morning Hyungs!” He happily digs into his bowl of cereal, and I envy his enthusiasm a little. He gives me a look, “Hyung, you look like you didn’t sleep well last night.” Chan also looks at me worriedly, “Did you sleep? The medicine is still working right?” I nod, “Yeah, just a little tired. I slept fine, don’t worry.” While Chan is satisfied by the answer, Felix looks a little panicked, “Medicine?” Chan nods, “A couple months ago his insomnia got really bad again. He started to forget stuff again.”

Felix’s eyes widen, flashing back to me, “But Hyung, I thought your insomnia was gone! You haven’t had issues sleeping in years!” Feeling Chan’s eyes on me, I think it registers in his mind for the first time that my insomnia hadn’t been an issue for a long time. I ignore his eyes and answer Felix instead, “Yeah, Chan Hyung says I was probably just adjusting to Korea.” I can almost hear the mockery in my own voice, seeing Chan and Changbin exchange glances out of the corner of my eye. Felix nods, though I can tell he caught my tone, he doesn’t want to ask.

The ride to school is the same as usual, only this time, there’s a fourth body with us. We meet Jeongin in the parking lot like always, and the youngest happily greets Felix, I can tell he’s missed him too. As we start our journey up to the entrance, Felix suddenly grips my hand. I look up at him in surprise, trying not to let memories flood back on me again. He gives me an apologetic look, “Sorry, I’m just nervous. Changbin Hyung was right, my Korean still isn’t very good…” I cut him off by squeezing his hand, “You’ll be fine. I won’t be in your classes, but I think Jeongin will be in most of them. Don’t worry, if you start to struggle with Korean, just ask him for help. I’ll see you at lunch.” He nods in thanks. We separate as the bell rings, signalling that we should get to first period.

* * *

I don’t see Felix again until lunch, when he sits down in the chair next to mine and throws his arms around me, grinning, “Hi Hyung! I missed you.” I chuckle, “You just saw me this morning.” He pouts, “I know, but still.” I shake my head, glancing up and catching the eye of a certain confused blue-haired boy. Jisung hasn’t been sitting with us, he has his own friends that he sits with, but he and I have still grown pretty close. It isn’t until now that I remember I forgot to text him good night last night. I feel a pang of guilt as he excuses himself from his friends and makes his way over to us, where Felix still has his arms wrapped tightly around me, apparently trying to figure out how he can eat his food without letting go.

I smile apologetically as Jisung approaches, “Hey Jisung. Sorry I forgot to text you last night, I-” “No,” he interrupts me, “it’s fine. Who’s this?” I can almost swear I hear something unfamiliar in his voice, but I ignore it and pat Felix’s head, “This is Felix. Felix, this is Jisung.” Felix gives him that blindingly bright smile, “Hi Jisung!” Jisung only nods in greeting, and I frown again. Something is definitely off. He waves goodbye to us and returns to his seat. “Hyung,” Felix says, “I can’t reach my food.” I roll my eyes and smile, “Maybe if you stopped being a koala, you would be able to.” He whines, “I don’t want to! You know I’m a koala Hyung! Besides, I haven’t seen you in 6 months and I  _ missed _ you.” I pat his hair again, “I know. I missed you too.”

* * *

I blink at my laptop screen, finally glancing away from my history project to check the time and realize that we probably should’ve had dinner at least a half hour ago. My phone buzzes. I frown and glance at it to find a message from Chan.

  
  


**Chan:**

Changbin and I are gonna spend the night in the studio. You guys can find something to eat, right?

  
  


I immediately feel my stomach drop a little. Since I had moved in, the pair had never had to spend a full night in their studio, but they’d told me that if they did, it was either because they lost track of time, or, if they warned me, then they would be planning to binge their work. However, judging by the short notice of his message, I could only guess that they had been planning on being home for dinner. I close my laptop as I answer his message with a thumbs up and make my way down the hall to what is now Felix’s room.

I knock, slowly opening the door when I receive no answer. I smile a little, seeing the younger asleep at his own desk, his head in his arms on top of his closed laptop. I walk over and gently shake him awake. He blinks at me tiredly, “Hm?” “You okay? You fell asleep at your desk.” He yawns, “Getting used to the new schedule. What time is it? Did I miss dinner?” I shake my head, “Chan Hyung and Changbin are spending the night in their studio. We’re fending for ourselves.” He frowns at the worried tone in my voice but I’m glad he doesn’t push it because I don’t know either.

Eventually, we decide to go to a nearby restaurant. “So,” Felix says as we eat, “if they’re spending the night in the studio, does that mean they’re not going to school tomorrow?” I frown, “I’m not sure, but probably not. We may have to walk to school tomorrow.” He shakes his head, “You still don’t have your license?” “Nah, I haven’t really had time.” The rest of our meal is spent in silence.

* * *

As we expected, the following morning, I receive a text from Chan that says that they won’t be going to school, we’ll have to walk. I manage to get the both of us out the door early enough that we arrive at school around our usual time. We greet Jeongin, who looks slightly confused by the lack of a certain triangle face and turtleneck sweater boy. Throughout my morning classes, I struggle to focus. It feels strange without Changbin annoying me and Chan scolding us for being loud. I can’t seem to get it out of my head that something happened last night. My concern only grows when I get to lunch and immediately notice the lack of a fluffy blue head in his usual spot.

Felix and Jeongin share my concern, as well as Jisung’s friends, it seems, because the moment they see me sit down the three of them rush over to join us, worriedly asking if we’ve heard from Jisung. I discover that he’d told them he was spending the night in the studio with Chan and Changbin as well. I try to reason all our concerns, “They probably just had a lot of work. I’m sure they would tell us if something was up.” One of Jisung’s friends, Woojin, gives me an incredulous look. I can’t say I blame him. We all try to eat our lunch, but the gnawing worry is only growing inside of each of us.

* * *

The moment I hear the front door open that afternoon, I rush down the stairs from my room to greet our housemates, Felix quick on my heels. My frown deepens when I reach the living room and find only Changbin there, not a sign of Chan at all. “What happened? Why did you guys spend the night there? And you’re just now getting home? Where’s Chan Hyung? Is everything alright?” the questions spill out of my mouth like a flood. Changbin sighs, “Don’t worry about it. We just had a lot of work piled up. Hyung is still working at the studio. He- nevermind. Yeah, it’s fine.”

I know he can tell we don’t believe him, so he changes the subject, “Felix, how was your second day going to school here?” Felix squints at him, “It was….fine, I guess.” “Good,” Changbin says, and goes to his own room, leaving us to share a look of concern. Later, I receive another text from Chan that we’ll have to find dinner ourselves. I end up ordering us pizza, but throughout dinner, something is off. Changbin doesn’t look at us, leaving me and Felix to converse between ourselves. When we try to get Changbin to talk to us, he only mumbles a few answers until we give up.

As I’m preparing to go to bed, I look at my messages, frowning, since Jisung still hasn’t answered my good night from the previous night. I send another anyway, placing my phone down. I’m about to lay down and try to sleep, when I hear a soft knock on my door. I call out a quiet ‘come in’. The door opens to reveal Felix, clutching a small pillow. “Hyung, I can’t sleep. I’m worried. Chan Hyung still isn’t home and Changbin Hyung is acting weird.” I sigh gesturing him over to sit down on the bed, and he does. “I’m worried too. But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. At least tomorrow is Saturday. We can sleep in.” Felix nods in agreement, hesitating a little, before quietly asking, “Can I sleep in here tonight?” I immediately nod. As we lie down, I wrap my arms around the younger boy, and I feel memories flooding back to me.

_ “Hyung, I can’t sleep,” Felix mumbled over the phone. I check the time, 1:08 am. “How come?” I answer, my voice soft, if a little bit groggy since I just woke up. He sighs, “My mom still isn’t home yet. I think she’s working late again. I don’t think I can sleep until I know she’s okay.” “Do you want me to come over?” I hear his voice become a little hopeful, “Please Hyung.” “Okay.” I hang up and don’t even bother changing my clothes. I only throw on a jacket and shoes and grab my phone off my nightstand. I walk out into the night and begin the walk to the end of the block. I praise the fact that I’m lucky enough to have my boyfriend live on the same street and not four miles away. _

_ The moment Felix opens the door, he throws his arms around me. I realize I must have been too tired to hear his crying over the phone because it’s clear the tears have been streaming down his face for quite some time. I hold him tightly, kissing his head and trying to maneuver us into the house so I can close the door. We stay in the living room for a while like that. Eventually, Felix calms down a little. We go to his room and lay down together, my arms tightly wrapped around him. He sniffles, “I’m sorry for waking you up and making you come over in the middle of the night Hyung.” “It’s fine. I would rather be able to comfort you than let you be sad by yourself.” We fall asleep like that. _

I smile a little at the memory, but it quickly turns to a frown as another night comes to mind. The last time I saw Felix before I moved here.

_ “Hyung, why have you been so distant lately? I miss you,” Felix’s words sting, his tears too, but I can’t bring myself to rush over and kiss them away. I’ve always done that, what’s changed? I try to step forward, but my father’s voice flashes through my head,  _ You’re disgusting! _ I flinch, stopping myself from moving towards him. Instead, I say, “Well, I’ve been busy. Shouldn’t you be packing? Your flight for America leaves in the morning.” I see the hurt flash in his eyes, “But Hyung, I don’t want to go! I want to stay with you! Please, tell them that I’m staying with you.”  _

_ I force myself to look away, “You should go. It’s for the best.” “But Hyung I-” “I don’t even want you here anyway,” I snap, trying to keep my voice steady. The tears are freely flowing down his face now. Felix moves towards me, “Please Hyung, you can’t mean that! You love me, don’t you?” My heart is screaming at me, just say yes! You love him with your whole heart! Tell him that! But when I try to speak, my father’s words of hate keep coming back to my head, and I remember his threat,  _ Leave that boy or I’ll get rid of him myself! _ I know what that means. _

_ I take a deep breath and look Felix in the eye, “I don’t. I’ve never loved you, so you should just leave.” He lets out a choked sob, falling to the ground. It’s all I can do not to rush to him and pull him into my arms, to tell him I don’t mean what I’m saying. I force myself to walk away, one step at a time, out the boy’s front door. I continue to walk back down the block, one step at a time, until I reach my house. By the time I make it, the tears are streaming down my face faster than the rain from the sky. I hold back my sobs as I let the rain soak me through to the bone.  _ How fitting.

_ Instead of walking up the front steps and going inside, I walk right past my house and continue walking until I can’t anymore. I don’t know how long I’ve been walking, but it must have been hours. When I stop, I find myself in front of a familiar shop, one that resides quite a long distance from my own neighborhood. I can see it’s empty, so I rush inside, calling, “Eunji!” My sister looks up and immediately runs over to me, “Minho! What happened? Why are you soaked? And crying? Are you okay?” She locks the store and flips the sign the read  _ closed _. She hugs me, and for a while, I sit and cry into her shoulder. When I no longer have any tears left, I resolve to quietly sniffling, feeling just as awful as when I left Felix’s house. _

_ “Minho,” she says softly, “what happened? How did you even get all the way out here?” Her voice hardens a little, “Dad will be mad if he finds you here.” I sniff, “He’s away on a stupid business trip. If only he never came back.” She pets my hair a little, “Why? What happened?” “He,” I choke, feeling tears that I didn’t know I still had, “he made me break up with Felix. And I made Felix cry. I feel horrible. But Dad said, he said that if I didn’t, he would hurt Felix.” Eunji looks angry now, “I’m sick of this. You’re moving in with me. Let’s go get your stuff. Then we’ll go talk to Felix, okay?” I gasp and look at the clock. 9:15 am. I walked all night. I scramble to my feet, “Felix’s flight leaves at 10!” _

_ We try to make it to the airport as fast as possible, but it’s too late. By the time we’re able to reach even the parking garage, it’s already 10:05. I check if their flight has left yet, praying that it was delayed, but when I see that it left right on time, I yet again burst into tears. I try to call Felix, but I know it’s too late. His phone would be off by now, and even if it wasn’t, I doubt he would pick up anyway after what I said. Still, I try calling him until my phone screen blurs from my tears. Eunji takes me back to my house for my things, but instead of going into my house, I run down the street to Felix’s house. It looks empty. I pull out the key Felix gave me and open the door, running inside. I rush to Felix’s room, telling myself he’ll be there in the same spot on the floor where I left him. I tell myself he wouldn’t have gone, but the moment I open the door, his room is empty, the bare mattress has been stripped of his bed sheets, and the empty dresser drawers still stick out, taunting me. I fall to the ground, letting myself cry, never wanting to stop crying. I lost the person I loved the most. _

I sigh, the memories keeping me from being able to fall asleep. Felix turns over, “What’s wrong Hyung?” “It’s just,” I stop, tears threatening me again, “I remember the night before you left.” The words barely come out. In the dark, I can barely see Felix, but I still see him stiffen. “Oh,” he says. I sit up and turn on the lamp on my nightstand. He sits up with me. I take a deep breath and let the words leave my mouth that I’ve been wanting to say since it happened, almost a year ago, “I’m sorry. For everything I said that night. I didn’t mean it. Any of it.”

He smiles sadly, “I know. When I got in touch with Chan Hyung, he told me what happened. Everything with your dad. How you tried to go back and apologize, but I already left by then. That’s why he arranged for me to come here and live with you guys. I really meant it when I said I missed you. I hated America.” I pull him close, pressing his lips to mine. When we finally pull away, he wraps his arms tightly around me, “I really missed you Hyung.” I smile, “Me too.”

* * *

Monday comes faster than any of us are hoping for. It isn’t until I’m finishing my last spoonful of cereal that I realize something is off, “Where’s Chan Hyung?” Changbin shrugs, “Still at the studio I guess. We can walk.” Felix and I share a worried look. Chan hadn’t been home all weekend. I’m about to try and get Changbin to tell us what’s going on again, when the front door opens, and Chan walks in, looking exhausted. He still has on the clothes that we last saw him in on Thursday night. We stare at him for a good three seconds. He smiles uncomfortably, “Hi guys.” Without warning, I throw my spoon at him.

“Ow,” he yells, “What was that for?!” I shrug, “You deserved it for making us worry so fucking much Hyung. You know you haven’t been home since Thursday?” He sighs, “Yeah, I’m sorry, I’ve been really busy.” Felix narrows his eyes, “Busy enough that you can’t leave your studio for four days?” Chan flinches at that. Without another word, he rushes up the stairs. He comes down just as we’re about to leave with all of his things for school, grabbing his keys again, “Let’s go.” I stare at him, “You’re kidding, right? You can’t go to school Hyung! You’ve been in your studio for day! When was the last time you slept?” He waves away my concern, “It’s fine.” I stare in shock for a moment longer before Felix intertwines his fingers with mine, pulling me out the door after the others.

When we get to school, Jeongin greets us happily. I can’t shake my concern. Again, Felix’s hand finds mine. He smiles at me, and I smile back, trying to believe Chan’s words. Still something isn’t right. I go through my morning classes in a blur, and then it’s lunch time. I arrive early, sitting down at my table before any of my other friends arrive. I’m surprised when Jisung’s friends, Woojin, Hyunjin, and Seungmin, sit down in front of me. I look up in confusion. Woojin smiles at me, “We decided to sit with you guys today. Is that alright?” I nod, “Of course. Where’s Jisung?” We all look back to where they came from, seeing the blue-haired boy standing by their usual seats, looking at us in confusion. I wave him over.

He sets his food down beside Hyunjin, “Why are we over here today?” Seungmin shrugs, “You see, after you ditched us on Friday, we were very hurt. Now we’ve replaced you with Minho Hyung.” Jisung’s eyes widen. Woojin rolls his eyes, “We didn’t replace you. Seungmin, stop being an ass.” Seungmin shrugs. Jeongin bounces over to us, “Hi!” I look back to see that Chan and Changbin are making their way over as well, looking slightly confused but cheerful nonetheless. When they sit down, I frown a little, “Where’s-” I’m cut off by a pair of arms wrapping around my shoulders and a kiss placed on my cheek, “Hi Hyung, I missed you.”

As he sits down next to me, I roll my eyes, “You always miss me.” He nods, pouting, “I know. It’s almost unbearable without you.” I smile, rolling my eyes again. Felix turns to the others, “Hi there!” They all greet him, though I notice Jisung looks away and says nothing. I frown, remembering that he still wasn’t answering my good night texts. I want to ask him what’s wrong, but it seems too personal to ask in front of our other friends, so I say nothing.

* * *

I’m laying with Felix. It’s been several weeks since he moved here, and I feel happy. Chan and Changbin have gone back to normal, and we’ve gained several new friends, all of us becoming quite close.  _ Except one _ . I check my phone again, frustrated when I still haven’t gotten a reply from Jisung. It’s been weeks since he started ignoring me. I still text him every night, but he doesn’t even read my messages anymore. I finally texted him asking if everything was alright, but still, he won’t answer me. I sigh. Felix looks up at me, “What’s wrong?” “Jisung still won’t answer me.”

Over the past few weeks, Felix and I haven’t really spoken about what we are. Sure, we act like we did back when we were dating, but if our last interaction is anything to go off of, I can only assume we technically broke up. I don’t know if I can really say we’re dating again, but for some reason I’m afraid to ask. He glances at my phone, and I show him the message I last sent Jisung. He looks thoughtful, “You could ask him in person.” I sigh again, “He’s even ignoring me at school. I don’t know how to get him to talk to me.” Felix gives me a strange look.

I can tell he wants to say something, “What is it?” He sits up, and I sit up with him. He looks a little nervous, “Hyung, I….I think we should let each other go.” I blink at him in confusion, “What?” He sighs, “It’s just, maybe we’re not meant for each other anymore.” I try to comprehend his words, but they’re not registering. What is he saying? “Why not?” “Hyung, do you like Jisung?” The question takes me by surprise, “What?” “Do you like Jisung?” I open my mouth to say no, I don’t, not in the way he’s asking me, but I stop, starting to think about everything that happened between me and Jisung. I think about how sad and worried I was when Jisung started ignoring me, a stark contrast to my happiness at his cute messages. I think about his adorable, fluffy blue hair.

I close my mouth, saying nothing instead. Felix smiles at me sadly. We sit in silence for several seconds, before I finally find my words, “I’m sorry.” “It’s alright.” After several more moments of silence, he finally speaks again, “Maybe, maybe I’ve found someone too.” I look up at him again. He’s still smiling at me, but a little happier. I should be jealous, upset, after all we’ve been through, we finally find each other again only to decide we don’t belong together anymore. But instead, I’m happy to know that Felix has found someone else. “I hope they treat you better than I could.” He shakes his head, “It’s not your fault Hyung. We both still love each other, but not in the same way. That’s alright.” I nod, finally smiling, “Then, yeah we should let each other go, so we can both be happy.” He nods in agreement. For the last time, we spend the night snuggled close together.

* * *

After that, we stay close. Felix is right, we still love each other just as much as we did before, but our love is different now. I find out that the someone that Felix was talking about was Changbin, and I have to be surprised because I don’t realize until now that they were getting close, and I was just too distracted by Jisung to really notice. I have a feeling Felix has explained everything between us to Changbin, because they seem to be getting closer, and I can tell Changbin likes Felix too. I smile thinking about them, knowing that they’ll be good for each other. In the meantime, I’ve been getting nowhere with little fluffy blue.

Then again, I haven’t exactly been doing much more than before to try to talk to him. I’m still coming to terms with my feelings. I’ve come to accept that what I’m feeling for him is definitely more than what Felix was talking about, but I can’t say yet if it really is love or not. Of course, it doesn’t help that Jisung ignores me all day long. One afternoon, Felix, Changbin, and I are walking home (Chan ditched us to hang out with Woojin, a strangely familiar thing by now) and Felix is chattering like usual, something neither of us are against. We pass by the studio, and all of a sudden, Felix stops talking and quietly says to us, “Is that Jisung?”

I look across the street to where the studio entrance is, and lo and behold, I catch a slightly glimpse of freshly dyed fluffy blue hair, just before the boy disappears into the building. I turn back to Changbin, “He has keys to the studio and I don’t?” Changbin rolls his eyes, “He works there with us Hyung. The only thing you ever did in the studio was make me hate pancakes with a burning passion.” I shrug, “I mean, they were burning.” Changbin tries to kick me, which I easily avoid. Felix rolls his eyes, turning back to me, “Hyung, you should go talk to him.” I blink, looking back at the studio entrance, frowning, “I don’t think he’s going to want to talk to me.”

“Shut up,” Changbin says, pushing me a little towards the crosswalk, “Just go and talk to him, idiot.” I glance back at them one last time, getting a glare from Changbin and a reassuring smile and thumbs up from Felix. I take a deep breath and make my way across the street. Once I make it across, I walk up to the studio and praise whatever entity that Jisung didn’t lock the door as the handle twists open in my hand. I take another deep breath, and walk inside. As soon as I close the door, I hear Jisung yell from down the hall, “Chan Hyung? Changbin Hyung?”

He appears around the corner, stopping when he sees me, his face going a little pale. I smile and wave a little. “Minho,” he says, his voice sounding strange, his eyes still wide, “What are you doing here? Did Chan Hyung or Changbin Hyung send you to get something? What is it? I’ll get it for you, and then you can-” “Actually,” I cut him off, taking several steps down the hall, “I came here to talk to you.” He blinks, “What? Why? How did you know I was here?” I shrug, “Felix saw you walking in here.” I notice the way he goes a little stiff when I mention Felix, “Oh. Well, you should probably go back, I’m sure he’s waiting for you.”

I smile, “Nah, he and Changbin probably went back to our house. Actually, they could use some time alone. They’ve been getting close, you know.” He gives me a confused look, “What?” I nod, “Yep. I hope they start dating soon. They’ll be good for each other.” I can see how confused he’s getting, “But I thought….you? And Felix? Chan Hyung said-” “That we used to date?” He nods. “Yeah, well, we’ve both found someone else now. We’re both perfectly okay with that.” He looks down, “Oh, you’ve found someone?” I shrug, “Well, I would have, if the someone I’m interested in didn’t avoid me.”

He tilts his head. I can tell he’s unsure whether I’m talking about him or not. I can almost swear I see a glimmer of hope flash in his eyes as he asks, “Who is it?” I grin, taking slow steps toward him, “Well, he’s small, and adorable, and he looks like a squirrel, and he’s got the most adorable fluffy blue hair,” I pause, stopping right in front of Jisung, “and he’s standing right in front of me.” “Oh.” Neither of us move for several seconds. Then, I find my arms wrapping tightly around him. He’s surprised at first, but then he returns the embrace. I smile, “I’ve been worried about you.”

“Why?” he mumbles. I roll my eyes, even if he can’t see it, “Because you haven’t spoken to me in like two months. And I very much like you, so I have been very sad.” He pulls away, “I’m sorry.” “Why?” “I,” he sighs, not looking up at me, “I guess, maybe I was jealous. Since you and Felix were dating before, and you were still really close, and I thought you still liked each other.” “We don’t. He likes Changbin. And I like you.” He finally looks up at me, “I-I like you too.”

* * *

Jisung follows me up the steps to our apartment. I unlock the door and walk in to find Chan in the kitchen cooking dinner. Changbin and Felix are on the couch watching some drama. All their eyes turn to us as we enter the house. Chan smiles that oblivious smile, “Hi Jisung!” Changbin and Felix share a look. Jisung eats dinner with us. For the most part, no questions are asked, but I feel the looks that Changbin and Felix keep throwing me. Chan, as usual, has no idea what’s going on. He converses with us like nothing is out of the ordinary.

After dinner, Jisung and I are in my room, laying in my bed. We’ve pretty much already silently decided that he’s going to stay the night. Right now, I have my arms wrapped around him, and he’s playing with my fingers while I close my eyes and choose to relax in the peace. Jisung is the first to break the silence, “What are we?” I snort, “Humans.” He smiles a little, “Yeah, but I mean what are  _ we _ ?” I finally open my eyes, “Gay.” This time he hits me a little, but there’s still a smile on his face, “I mean, are we boyfriends?”

I shrug, “Sure, if you want.” He looks at me, “But you haven’t asked me to be your boyfriend yet.” I sigh, “Alright. Will ye adorable little fluffy blue baby please be my adorable little fluffy blue boyfriend.” He pouts, “I’m not a baby.” “You’re my baby.” “Not yet. I haven’t said yes,” he points out. “Well, say yes then.” He smiles, “Yes, I will be your boyfriend.” I reach over to turn off the light as we prepare to go to sleep. I press a gentle kiss to his lips, “Well, now you’re my fluffy blue baby.”


End file.
